I originally created this page to provide more information for my coworkers about my transition. Some readers may have friends or relatives who are transitioning, but to others the whole concept might be new. Please add new questions in the comments, or if you prefer, contact me personally.

How can you be transgender at your age?
Oh gee, thanks a lot. Seriously, though, a lot of people come to terms with their identity later in life. For me, the end of my marriage led to 18 months of introspection that culminated with a revelation when I read this blog post. This isn’t the first time I’ve been headed in this direction. Back in 2006, I decided I hated my facial hair and went for three sessions of laser treatment to try to get rid of it. But I never realized the significance, and 17 years passed before I finally clued in.

What does it actually mean? You want to be a woman?
Sort of yes, but mainly no. Gender is not an immutable predetermined attribute. It consists of our internal sense of who we are, combined with how we learn to express ourselves early in our lives. An online friend wrote an excellent article on the subject. I always felt like something was so wrong, I barely felt like a person at all. But I got very good at masking how I really felt. Kind of like Robin Williams.

Have you ever mused at the possibility of reincarnation, imagining what it would be like to come back as a rock star, a gifted athlete, or a Jedi? Every time I thought about the concept, I always imagined coming back as a woman.

But it’s more than that. I’ve always gotten along best with women; my best friends have exclusively been women for as long as I can remember. That’s called social sorting, and most often, men want to be friends with men and women want to be friends with women. I’ve only ever felt like I belong with women. Sorry guys; I just don’t understand you on a personal level.

Are you on hormones?
Yes. I started on on estradiol patches and a testosterone blocker in late 2023. The patch wasn’t raising my estrogen levels enough, so I switched to injections in the spring of 2024. That depressed my testosterone production enough that I didn’t need the T-blocker anymore. In fact, it reduced my testosterone so effectively that I have to take supplemental testosterone to maintain a level typical for a woman.

What’s with all the purple, anyway?
A couple of years ago, I got tired of the plain colors I used to wear and decided to discover the colors that work best with my complexion. When I found out how good purple looks on me, I leaned into it.

Seriously, why are you doing this? You know you’re giving up functional pockets, right?
I know I’m giving up certain advantages and revealing an identity that will result in mistrust, discrimination, and potentially physical danger. I could have stayed in my big, comfy closet for the rest of my life. But once I knew that the closet existed, and I saw the real world, going back inside would feel like dying. I feel like my life began on August 10, 2023.

And so far, almost everyone I’ve met has been very supportive. I know I’ve gotten a few sidewise glances here and there, and I know that some of my former coworkers didn’t understand what I’m going through. But I get more compliments in a day (usually about my hair) than I have negative interactions in a month.

How can “basic biology” result in a trans or gender diverse person?
“Basic biology” is a lot more complex than most people realize. Different combinations of X and Y chromosomes, additions or deletions to the gene sequences, and further mutations or development after birth can change who we are not just mentally, but physically. I’ve re-printed a social media thread written by a biologist who studies this subject.

Are you sure you’re not rushing into this?

Considering that the first signs of my identity tried to emerge from my unconscious mind in the late 1970s, no, probably not. Looking back, there have been so many signs of how I could have been living my life authentically instead of hiding in the shell that I felt was expected of me, it’s a wonder I didn’t figure this out years ago. 

So when I woke up in August 2023, I didn’t delay. I got a referral to a gender affirming doctor, who saw my gender incongruence quickly and clearly. I started hormone treatment as soon as my doctor was able to arrange it. I started buying new clothes and expanding my makeup collection. (I started wearing makeup on social occasions more than a year before discovering my identity. Yeah. Another sign.) 

If you get a vagina, where does it go? (NEW, March 22, 2025)
A friend asked me this excellent question earlier today. The short answer is that the surgeon opens the scrotum, removes the testicles, and creates the vaginal canal behind where the testicles were. The tissue of the scrotum is used to create the labia. Typically, the skin from the outside of the penis is turned inside-out and formed into the lining of the new vagina. Much of the head of the penis is cut away, and it is reattached as a clitoris.

I’ve written a more detailed article on this subject, including procedures that don’t destroy the penis and how the reproductive organs develop in the womb.

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If you’d like to ask a question, please post a comment or contact me directly.